He's Dead Jim

Or is he? Painkiller is what I would term a throwback to older shooters, an "orgy of zombie killing fun" would be the technical industry term. I've never fired so many deliciously satisfying holy stakes into the breasts of so many irresistably lovable walking dead. The melee weapon is basically a portable meat-grinder that makes a delightful sound when you cut of the limbs of some poor ghoul. Unfortunately, the graphics are a bit much for my dated GeForce MX, so there's a bit of slowdown.

By the way... Why name a game Painkiller, you ask? I'll tell you: YOU CAN'T SAVE! And the enemies deal a shitload of damage. Easy to dodge, but one little mistake sends you back to the beginning. That's the pain part, the killer part comes when I find the idiot who made a demo where you can't save.

CNN can't do statistical analysis. I totally agree with Ars Technica that 2 to 7 percent of America's adult internet-using population is a fuck-ton of people. A "fuck-ton" is equivielent to 220,000 units, by the way.

If nothing ever converted me to Christianity before, this might...

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